The Sun Shines on a New Day

Well, the weekend went better than expected. It was great to get up Saturday and be 'man-free'. No workmen. No noise. Just quiet. I spent a chilly morning in the park with a fellow therapist at an event offering on-site massage. She had given me a shiatsu treatment Friday, which I badly needed. It had been painful and unpleasant but had done me a power of good. She told me she feels I have lots of energy - it's just stuck. And that she senses lots of anger from me about the illness (no kidding!). I asked her how I can get the energy moving and she replied maybe I should stop trying so hard. Hm. Saturday I was on my own in the park and had been concerned I wouldn't cope, but I had a steady flow and spent 50 minutes with a wheelchair-bound lady with MS that just re-enforced why I do what I do. My step-dad helped with the gazebo and ferrying me to and fro and my mum sat on reception back at Carpe Diem, walking the dog up to visit me twice. It turned out to be a stress-free day. Sunday, was spent painting the kitchen with Radio 4 in the background. More like about half of my small kitchen to be honest, it was slow progress, but progress none the less and if you stand with your back to the unpainted bits, it looks lovely! I chose to spend the day alone, and was glad I did, over-run as I had been that last week with workmen (currently back and drilling as I type). Still the end is in nigh and I'm off to work now anyway. I had an arnica bath last night and all my bruises are coming out like pretty rainbows, but I don't feel sore or achy today. So that's definately something to bear in mind for the future.

From home to house

I am currently having work on my home done which in the end will be great but has taken much more toll on me than expected. I had anticipated mess and disruption but not quite the difficulties that have ensued. It is more the to-ing and fro-ing for extras of something or a new something else because inevitably things have gone a bit wrong. The worst has been the water downstairs being cut off since 8.30am Monday. The other unforseen issue was the plumbing problem for the downstairs loo that is also going in. Monday was supposed to be an easy job of laying some cold water pipes for it but the job had to be changed and got complicated, hence the no water situation. It has been very wearing going up and down stairs for water. I haven't washed up since Monday until I uttered the unusual phrase 'I'm just going to wash up in the bath' to the carpenter this morning. But then, I haven't really cooked either, so four days of washing up was just a bowlful. I was trying, up until yesterday, to look upon it as posh camping. This morning I was ready to throw in the towel. I have lost several things this week, misplaced, one of them nearly included my mind. I left over two hundred pounds of fees in cash at a pilates venue, which was found and returned. I went to buy a bowl and bin only to get to the till and find I didn't have my purse. That was because I had used a different bag earlier to try and find a tap washer for an antique brass tap - to no avail. I have been sleeping very badly. I sent a snotty text to my partner working at Glastonbury, I bemoaned my lot to my mother but ended up laughing with her (God bless my mother - she is a marvel!) I sent several whiney self-pitying texts to a friend who politely asked how it was going, and was told in no uncertain terms. This morning I got to the point of not being able to speak to the workmen and had to leave before I broke down into some sort of sobbing mess. The 'toilet guy' was drilling holes in the wall to move a boiler vent and install a ventilation fan. I honestly think it would have been quicker and quieter to knock the damn wall down and build it back up with the holes in place. The poor cats looked at me frozen to the spot at the top of the stairs in abject horror and I had to carry and escort them to the garden. At 1.45pm I retreated to my summerhouse with books and charged laptop, where it is markedly more peaceful. Misty, the older cat, and Oscar, the dog joined me. Rosie has decamped next door and who can blame her. I woke up this morning, exhausted and very sore, low and tearful. I only just made it downstairs as the plummer arrived. He took one look at me and decided not to try his usual peppy chatter, which I have managed to engage in up until now. Then he apologetically presented the tap, and so the day began. At that point, I didn't think I'd make it through and was concerned how I would handle work later at the therapy centre. Luckily my shift will only last from 6pm-8.30pm. I may have a bath later now I have removed the washing up and have water and a working tap downstairs to do the dishes. The carpenter, bless him, still asks me questions about what I want and how and where and I just smile and say, I have no idea - what do you think? The ability to think and decide left me Monday evening, a fact I think he and the plummer are aware of, but they humour me and try to give me a sense of being involved in the work on my house, even though as soon as I've given my comment, I can't remember what I've agreed to. Oscar, having spent his first six months of life on a saw mill site, has befriended the carpenter and sits by the saw and tile cutter watching him work and getting covered in dust. Perhaps I should bath him and not me later. Mind you the whole house is so dusty it looks likes Mrs Haversham's from Great Expectations. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find a spinster in a wedding dress and a mottled old wedding cake when I next go back in. Ah well, it would be something different to cheese and crackers to eat I suppose. Best go check all the clocks haven't all stuck at twenty to nine...

Making Progress

This week I had my appointment at the CFS/ME clinic at Frenchay. She was very impressed with me (who wouldn't be) and said I am already doing what they would advise and more. I am, of course, in a priveleged position having easy access to comp therapies and we discussed what I had found useful: nutritional therapy, homeopathy, electrical acupuncture (the standard had no real effect) and most recently, shiatsu. I have to fill in a sleep diary and chart my pacing (rest/activity/rest etc) as she feels I am not doing this effectively enough yet. Back I go in two weeks time. The other thing progressing nicely is the kitchen. I have been clearing it out in bits throughout the week and some wonderful friends came and sanded and waxed their hearts out yesterday on furniture that will go in there. It's frustrating I can no longer do these things myself and I am so grateful to them. As I type the carpenter is ripping out the kitchen's innards and I am pleased to report the dodgy looking ceiling is more stable than it looked and hasn't come down. He has, however, exposed a large plaster hole, so if I did want to go for the Rustic Look in a big way, I could just leave it - maybe not. Now I just have the fun of trying to make meals - where did I put the.....? will be this week's cry.

Take it with a pinch of salt

I suffer a lot with dizzy spells, particularly when doing anything remotely cardiovascular or when I have had to concentrate for a long time. This is why I walk with a stick and don't drive much. It's safer this way. I read in a cfs/cbt book I got from the library that sometimes cfs peeps can get low blood pressure and to increase salt in the diet a little. I have taken salt out, largely, since seeing the nutritional therapist, so I decided to experiment. On the way back from supervision last Sunday, I felt a tad unwell and called into a shop which sold Montezuma choc. They had dark choc with salt in. So I grabbed a couple of bars and sat in the car and ate a few squares. I have decided to take it swimming with me to see if it helps the 'wobbles' when I get out. I have also started trialling a few salted peanuts at work between clients. So far so good. I did get my BP checked but it was normal not low. Not that I really want it to be low, but it would at least have explained the darned dizziness. Also, this week my business partner and acupuncturist has had the temerity to take and two and and half week break! So, I booked myself it with our lovely shiatsu therapist. I had my first full treatment yesterday. It was pleasant and painful! It took me a while to come round but I slept well, have much less to almost non-existent lower limb pain and managed not only to walk to work and back, but to cook a meal from scratch for myself and my partner. I have booked myself back in next week!

Life is going swimmingly

So, in an attempt to continue the pacing exercise-rest experiment I went swimming on Saturday. It was a slow start to the day, but I had decided I would do this and I knew I had professional supervision on Sunday afternoon so going Sunday morning was not an option. Therefore, bag in hand and a book of pre-pay tickets that I hoped were still valid, off I pootled. The good news was the tickets were still valid so even if this was a failed attempt, it had effectively cost me nothing on the day. I decided on widths. Lengths looked a bit daunting and there were several floating children bobbing around like hindering buoys. My aim was to survive 10 minutes. After managing 10 widths in 10 minutes I had a little stretch and thought I'd try again. I managed another 10 of each. The one odd thing that I discovered was that my right leg was none too keen on this idea. I like to do a few (usually lengths) breast stroke and then a stint on my back (bouys allowing). My leg followed along and would occassionally flick into life - if you've ever seen an axylottle (unsure of spelling) you will have observed they float like a dead thing then suddenly spasm as if having been electrocuted. My leg did that. Not painfully, just oddly. So I gave up trying to make it work and dragged it along behind me like a tug boat. I can't say I experienced a sense of achievement at the end - generally I swim 20ish lengths in half an hour - it felt more like I had taken part in a rehab programme for recovery following an injury.  Still, it was good to have tried it and to know I can go back and try again. Maybe my right leg will join in next time.