Faulty Forty

Well, it's been a while. Since my last post, where I suspected a relapse, I then had quite a vile virus and the whole shebang culminated in shingles. Yep, my old friend was back. Because it's been absent for quite some time it took me by surprise and I didn't recognise the fevery symptoms or sciatica as a warning, just thought it was CFS related. The worst of it was the rash, which got to be about the size of a golf ball and wouldn't heal. It kept weeping and bleeding for two weeks until a nurse friend of mine suggested a dressing which solved the problem (couldn't get in to see the nurse practitioner for another week at the GPs and doctors 'don't do dressings' apparently - perhaps I might decide to not do my NI payments!). Anyway, in April I went on a retreat. I did not, in all honesty, feel like it. I had signed up to it earlier in the year. But I did go and was glad I did. It was a yoga and conscious eating two day retreat and I learnt a lot and met some nice people. Set in a mill by the Kennet and Avon canal it was very peaceful. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I may have overdone the yoga, which I thought was quite gentle, but is of course different to the bit of Pilates I do. A week or so later I found myself being bounced on my Karen the Miracle Manipulator to deal with a displaced rib. Still, the silver lining was the recommendation to drink lots of red wine. The darker cloud was a severe reaction to the rib going back in prompting another bashing by Karen, but more red wine drinking ensued! Moods have been up and down and frankly sometimes I find myself not wanting to be around anyone; difficult when my work involves me having to deal with people practically daily. Oscar, my dog has been my comfort, and the cats have been quite loving and good bedtime company too. Also, having Oscar means I have to get myself out every day. Exercise has gone right of the boil but I cannot allow myself to be frustrated by this. I am still walking to work and I am now experimenting with walking a little further without my stick and doing quite well with that. At a recent weekend spent at my uncle's caravan I swam in the pool for half an hour for three mornings, not particularly quickly but it was nice. I still haven't felt well enough to go back to my dance DVD, even though it is just ten minutes. I was bought a home vibrocise machine for my birthday, I had been attending a studio once a week. It's not the most pleasant of experiences but at ten minutes a time it's bearwithable. There are various programmes on it and I am experimenting, however, I would like to get back to 'doing' something with my body rather than just standing on a vibrating plate. Still, it's a start, of sorts. I turned 40 last weekend and managed to have  my party and survive it. I also had people coming and going all weekend which was jolly. I did crash a bit on the Monday and am still tired. I had a bit of a low day Tuesday but I find if I recognise what this is, it's best to give into it on a temporary basis rather than fight it. Ultimately I coped better than expected. Apparently life begins at forty, I'd like to hope mine would, but I doubt it somehow. I feel I am a faulty forty, there is much mending yet to be done. Maybe I'll get all that done and begin at fifty instead.