Saturday 19 January 2013

New Year Review

Having had a quick look back over the last years blog it is interesting to note what has and hasn't changed. It is now two years since my diagnosis but I suspect closer to three with CFS being present but just not being recognised. Prior to Chrismas I finally fell prey to one of those awful viruses - thankfully missing out on norovirus - it started on my chest then took up residence in my sinuses, changing sides on a daily basis in case I got bored of it. Not wanting to take antibiotics for fear they would trash my immune system I went through two packets of sudafed, countless boxes of tissues and after six weeks began bemoaning my lot. I was also mightily fed up by then of flagging and being unable to do much except work, particularly as I had just started to get to grips a bit more with a dance DVD prior to the virus. A kindly client who had travelled a rougher path than I suggested probiotics as she had been told the virus is bacterial. So, off I popped to the local health food shop and got a colon cleanse tea to oust the bad bacteria and some probiotics to grow the new. I also swapped out my usual vitamin powders in favour of a new active life vitamin, just to give my body a change. Within in a few days a felt a definate lift and experimented by walking a bit further and then with a bit more exercise. Having got out of the habit of the Tibetan rites a while ago, I instigated them again, and now that I can lie flat without coughing have gone back to lying on my acupressure mat and ten-twenty minutes of mediation in the morning to help me wake up properly. I feel better for going back to the old routine. I think it's good to have a break occassionally, but not more than a day or so. I have left the reiki off for a while but did enjoy a nice reiki share a couple of weeks back and had a shiatsu treatment when I felt quite low and exhausted last Saturday. So what have I learned? Stick with what works and don't try to change it. Progressing little by little is still the key and I have less frustration and more acceptance of that. I would have loved to buy that Zumba dvd on sale after xmas, but what would be the point? It would upset me that I can't do it. Instead I am back doing my ten minute dance DVD and getting on with that three to four times a week. I experimented with walking into work on a Saturday (usually I walk on Monday and Friday only and drive in when I work a Sat) and that seemed okay. I have accepted that housework gets done twice a week rather than every other day, and pet hair on the carpet and footprints on the wooden floor isn't the end of the world. I have accepted, and others have had to, that some things will have to wait. I cannot be all things to all people, I have to be myself to me first. This year I have booked an overnight spa break (cunningly getting a sale voucher), booked to attend a mindfulness day and bought a book on the subject to ready myself, plan to book onto a course called the Endorphin Effect by William Bloom and have approached a friend about a retreat. A holiday is planned for the middle of the year since it was a mistake booking it so late in the year in 2012, a mini-break is loosly on the cards for autumn and I shall beg use of my uncle's caravan on the odd occassion. I turn 40 in May and jolly well intend to celebrate it at a party where I shall dance a little, but not too much, and I shall be happy with that, because two years ago I couldn't have even coped with a party let alone dance at one. Perhaps everything in moderation isn't boring, perhaps it actually means you get the most out of life; tasting a bit of this and a bit of that and enjoying it along the way. It means you don't overdose on one thing and have a deficiency of another. It means, in fact, you get that long hankered for and so elusive balance.