Everything in Moderation

Still on the old chestnut of pacing, or rather learning the best actvity/rest combo. It is a little bit like finding your way through a maze; confident the solution lies ahead, you plough on only to find a dead end. I am still keeping my morning routine of meditation, reiki, Five Tibetans. I am more used to the Five now and am managing 12 reps of most of the Five Rites (postures). I even kept this routine when I was away recently. So, that bit's okay then. It is still taking me a long time to wake up and part of the trouble is the Amitrityline 'hangover'. I experimented recently with not taking it at the weekend and there was no pain and sleep was about the same. So, I am going to try to take them during the week and leave them off Friday and Saturday night,especially since (touch wood) I have not had an insomnia periods for several weeks now. I am still struggling with pacing. Unexpected things get in the way or tasks just take longer than expected. I notice I am getting tense in  my shoulders again, and the teeth grinding is back. Some days I feel I have too much on, when it is just a few little things, but of course they all add up and take their toll. I am still listing things in my diary in favour of writing a schedule. I'm not sure this is any better. I am also still list writing as I am fearful of forgetting things, and I know I do forget. The Tai Chi provided through the CFS clinic is still proving surprisingly challenging and I have to keep sitting down. But then it is on my worst day for activity, being a Wednesday when I teach three classes during the day. Still, at least I recognise the need to sit down and don't just carry on pushing myself (1 lesson learned then!). I also took some peanuts and ate them in the car before driving home, and that felt better. I hope to buy some salted chocolate this weekend as a couple of squares of this proved very helpful after swimming. I have been reading Overcoming Chronic Fatigue, a book that uses CBT techniques. I am due to embark on the exercises. I'll start next week, when I have more time....!

Five Tibetans

Since last posting I have had four pieces of good news. I have finally gained my level 4 Pilates specialty qualification and I'm glad I decided to make the effort to complete it. It was worth the extra energy it took. It also made me realise how tense I had been while waiting for the news as the sense of relief I felt was monumental. The second piece of good news was winning a short story competition. I find writing relaxing, whether a note or a letter or a story. It's nice to sit in the summerhouse and do it while the weather is still warm enough to do so. My six weeks of reflexolgy has finished and I think it has helped, particularly with the pain. I still take the Amitrityline 10mg at night - and touch wood have not had any insomnia epsisodes for nearly three weeks - but that is now less about pain management and more about regulating my sleep. Overall I have to say I feel about 10% better, which is good. The other interesting thing is swimming. I went to the local pool where I can only do lengths and this time managed 12 lengths in 22 minutes. I was pleased to notice my right leg was keener to be involved that previously. It wasn't quite kicking all the way along but did make an effort and it's less like hauling a piece of driftwood behind me, which is nice. I have received a letter from the CFS/ME clinic and start my Tai Chi class next Wednesday. It's not the best of days for me as I teach three classes on a Weds andwill  have also worked Monday day and taught Monday and Tuesday evenings. I will forego the Tuesday swim and conserve energy for Tai Chi. The last bit of good news is the Five Tibetans. I was put on to them by a colleague. I don't mean I have five small Tibetans carrying me about - although that might be interesting - it is a set of re-energising exercises. The full name is Five Tibetan Rites. It consist of five exercises - that are not too dissimilar to some Pilates - that take about five minutes. I can't quite do all 12 reps of all five exercises, but I do what I can and it does give me a lift! So, less doom and gloom and more bloom this week then.

Rest is Best

Things have a habit of getting in the way. I cannot schedule my life and I tried doing it to a timetable but it doesn't work and makes me frustrated. The only rest I am managing to guarantee myself is the 10 minute meditation before I go out to work or a social event. Yesterday I was really tired, and Wednesdays are my busiest day, so it's not a good day to start of being tired with. For some reason, I did not reiki myself before I got up, the day went to pot with everything taking longer than it should and my first rest period coming at 5pm. I was frazzled, upity and tearful by then. I lay on the bed and did some reiki and felt much better. That just goes to show the difference it makes. Last night I took an extra half of Amitryptiline as I know if I am overtired I will not sleep. Today I have rested sat in the sun in the garden. I have cancelled the cat's vet appointment to next Thursday (it's only a booster jab) as I am working 4.30-8.30pm and don't want to rush about this afternoon. I will take the dog out soon then will rest again and do a meditation before work. That's three out of four. Which isn't bad. But it still isn't good enough. So, I will write on my own report card: Must Try Harder.