Admitting Defeat

Well, despite my best efforts I am back on the Amitriptyline. I tried for two weeks to do without it but felt so bad that I went back on a double dose for ten days. The opium tincture was useful to come off it but it just didn't give me a long enough period of sleep and some nights became very disturbed again toward the end of the trial period. I am now back down to my usual 10mg per night and would like to perhaps get that down to every other night, though I tried last night without it (largely because I forgot to take it and realised too late!) and had an awful night's sleep. While I don't want to stay on it long term or become dependant in it, I just don't think it's worth coming off it just yet. The better quality sleep I have got on it has meant I can do more in the days. I have, however, had to admit I have become guilty of trying to cram too much in and not resting enough. It's frustrating having to look at a week and split it up into manageable sections; working out what I can and can't do/attend, but it is the only way. I have to remember how much better I am doing than this time last year. A couple of weeks ago I feared I was backsliding, and that was horrible. I have to be sensible, and sometimes boring. That's life.