Tired and Emotional

It has been and up and downy sort of week. Again. Overall, I feel I am coping better, certainly compared to a few months ago, still when the tiredness drags on it is wearing. I can cope with patchy tiredness, I am getting on much better with my rest periods. What I find most trying is when the tiredness does not abate for several days; it feels constantly the same and seems never ending. I admit it makes me feel low. I admit this week I caved into the 'lowness'. I am not depressed. Wednesday then I didn't go to Tai Chi. On the one hand I couldnt be bothered, on the other, since the tiredness had not lifted a milimetre I couldn't see how I could go to Tai Chi and then come back and teach two classes. So, it was partly practical, partly apathetic. Thursday I moaned to my dear, extremely broad shouldered mother, who really has enough problems without me adding to them. Friday I perked up a bit but had an awful night. My Amitrityline has not arrived at the pharmacy - all week! - but I haven't really missed it and done alright without it. I had some grumblings of pain earlier in the week so had some reflexology and reiki on Tuesday and it went away. Saturday I was due to attend a one day course. I admit I had some concerns as to how I would cope since driving to Clifton for Supervision and spending three hours there finds me inevitably having to stop on the drive home as I can't cope. So, I decided I would just go and see how long I could last and leave if I felt that I was becoming too unwell to drive home. Oh for a chauffeur! After spending half an hour trying to park near enough for me to be able to manage the walk, stick in hand, I got nearly to the top of the hill I had parked on, then realising I had four streets to go yet, admitted defeat and went home. I just felt so sore and powerless in my legs. At home I cried and sulked. I was soothed by my silent boyfriend and then cuddled up with him and my dog and sulked. For most of the day. However, I have now discovered I may be hosting a bit of a coldy bug. Whilst this may not seem like good news, it does however explain the feeling of running on complete empty, the hot and cold sleepless night and the sore legs. All of these can easily be mistaken for CFS symptoms, but on this occassion that doesn't seem to be to blame. So, off to Boots for liquid echinacea and paracetamol and no more tears and tantrums. For now at least.